vestige network.

i need help finding someone who's gone missing.
no word from him in two days. no, it's not normal.
something's wrong.

OKAY so it has come to my attention that some of you lot haven't had elementary sex education, so I'm just a tiny bit curious about what all you do and don't know about getting a legover.

Tell me if any of this means anything to you:

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This is especially for all you ye olden folk out there, since there seems to be a lot of that going on. But Especially Especially for all the ancient Chinese cosplay blokes out there. I refuse to believe my ancestors were so fucking vanilla LMAO like you HAVE to have different words for it or something PLEASE.

Oh h-hello.

[If he's doing this right people can see him? Have a black void of a face with two big yellow glowing eyes blinking at the screen. A few gloved fingers might make an appearance too.]

Mr. Technicians? Or Ms. Technicians! My name is Vivi, but I guess... well, you know that already?

You're probably busy doing really important stuff, but I need to ask you something. Promise I won't take up a lot of your time.

[Honestly he meant to do this sooner, but he's been kind of afraid to reach out. May as well do it now.]

[Despite the only very slight dip in temperature, Fran has on a long sleeved shirt with an unbuttoned flannel over it. She waves from where she's filming on the porch, with her mug of tea, giving stale chips to whatever is under the porch.]

It's fall! Or, well, it's almost fall. Such a lovely season. I'm ready to be cozy, how about you? I wish there were apple trees or pumpkins somewhere!

wall's gone on the north and east. dunno if it's gone-gone or just moved.

would take too long to scout it all myself. looking for people who can cover ground fast, aren't stupid, good memory for landmarks or can keep good notes. maybe sketch a map.

say something or meet at the shore. leaving in an hour with or without you

To All Whomst Live about This Lake, Most Kindly Residents, and their Spirit Kindred.

I write to you in the most sorry state, and I must beseech your goodwill to my lacking knowledge and skill so if that I write boldly with no invitation to do so you will look upon me with mercy if I have mistakenly given offense. You will do me the greatest kindness if you will take pity upon me, as I am now so far from home and so wholly without that which I know well. It is no small matter for me to be gone from where I came, I would not trouble your good humour with myself on anything less than the direst of situations.

It is paramount that in all haste that I send word to my homeland, as I have been assured no return is possible. There is a great matter for which it is my duty to attend and in such present circumstances as these, my absence will be a great misfortune. As I cannot leave in good time, I must at least send word to my Fathers that the succession has to pass to my sister due to this present situation.

I ask most heartily how I may do such a thing? I am at your mercy, please, take pity upon my lands, if not myself, for their are good and innocent citizens of the Isle that must be guided, as has been my family's duty for near 500 years.

Simply give me the means, and I will owe you a lifetime of gratitude, I have no more than the clothes on my back and the shoes on my feet and the love of the Great Sea-Father in my heart. Ask and whatever you wish that I can give is yours if you will but help me with this.

In salt-air and In ocean wave, I plead as a faithful if a helpless servant of the Sea-Father,

Gilia St. Loe, of the Isle St Loe. Daughter-Sea to the Spirit of the Great Ocean, Second-Child of the Isle, She Who Sings with the Ocean to Give Prosperity.

[How Jingyi discovered this is irrelevant. That he does not usually celebrate is also irrelevant, considering their circumstances. The important thing is that today is Jingyi's birthday and he is not dead of something horrible! If that is not cause for celebration he does not know what is.]

It is my birthday!

What do you do for birthdays where you are from? Are they things that we can do here?

Do raccoons hunt ducks, and if they don't, can they be trained to?

I just want to know if I've gotten this right:

We've all been kidnapped, and are being held in some weird outdoor experiment, right? There's that tree with the people or whatever in it just hanging out near the gas station, that's weird. Also, these cabins are a mess and the cake?

Fuck the cake, really, thanks but no thanks, and with these...little flesh party hats? Those are fucking gross.

Points for being gross, I guess.

I'm looking for two things: more information on our situation here and my siblings. Vanya, Luthor, Diego, Five, Klaus, Ben? Maybe.

Thanks.

Oh and if there's a doctor around we can trust I'd like to speak to them too.

[It takes him a moment to get the phone to balance well enough so that it shows his face, instead of just the ceiling. He's managed to prop it against a few cans of food, and seems satisfied with the result.]

Uh, hello. I guess if I'm showing my face, I might as well introduce myself, even if this channel isn't secure. Which it probably isn't, but -- anyway.

My name is Doctor Simon Tam. I just arrived here a day or so ago. I'm still... adjusting to this place. It certainly is interesting. I guess... if any of you require medical help -- I don't have my kit with me, but I'll do the best I can. I'll be around, if you need to find me.

Um, thank you? [Not knowing what else to say, he ends the video.]

hello, i am pressing the buttons very slowly so i don t make many typing mistakes.

every one has been through a lot lately. if you are hungry or cold or upset by these events, i have made a large p ortion of soup if you would like some. it is a simple soup so there is quite a bit. it has no meat if you are concerned about this.

i'll show you the soup !

❰ here is the soup! ❱

i can bring you some if you would like. our residence is very out of the way. there are many bowls with lids here so it will not be any trouble.

i am very impressed by people who use phones well. the letters are very small!

regards
jiang yanli

This place has a whole lotta creepy shit, but you know what it doesn't have? Jokes.

[ Hello and Good Day: over the network comes the light, amused voice of a 15-year-old girl. ]

Figured it'd do us all some good to lighten the mood. Keeps the blood pressure down! Unless you're allergic to fun, or something, in which case, uh... I dunno. Tune me out?

Okay, first one. Let's get warmed up. If you're an American in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?

[ DRAMATIC PAUSE ]

European. [ ~ta-da~ ] Next one, and I'll let you chime in this time. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

Hello. My name is Graham Casner, and as we all seem to be stuck here for the moment, I'd like to get a headcount and collect a few other potentially useful details. A record of who's here will let us know if anyone goes missing, and the benefit of cataloging what skills we have amidst the group should speak for itself.

In my day to day non-bullshit life I work as an adventure/survival guide; while I can't say for sure how much call we'll have for those services consider me on call for any questions about how to use what we have on hand. I also possess some experience in basic home maintenance, though for anything beyond simple electric/plumbing issues you're out of luck.

To sum up: please reply with your name and any skills, abilities, or otherwise you see as beneficial to our survival. Don't discount what might seem frivolous at first; creature comforts can go a long way.

Thank you for your time.