text; un: @bombshell

[bombshelled]

OK, listen up numbnuts. I have some important fucking wisdom to impart here, because apparently half of you are from the 14th fucking century or some shit and don't know how grocery stores work.

not everything at Foodland is food. bleach is not food. bleach is a cleaning supply. if you drink it, it will fucking kill you. don't be the asshole who died drinking bleach. I know the technicians want us to suffer and die or whatever, but that would be doing their work for them. DON'T DRINK BLEACH.

just in general, every product in Foodland should have some kind of label on it with the ingredients. read that first if you're not sure whether it's safe to eat or drink. if you don't know what an ingredient is, ask someone. don't just go putting shit in your mouth like whatever the fuck. use your fucking brain first.

Lana out.

Comments

@r.o.s.i.e.

[r_o_s_i_e]

Thank you for the PSA, Lana.
Maybe I can see about compiling a 'dangerous chemicals' database of things here so people can scan them and see what isn't edible?

[bombshelled]

oh fuck, yeah that would probably be a good idea. do you need any help with a project like that?

[r_o_s_i_e]

If you wouldn't mind!
While I can scan and store pictures easily, coming up with product descriptions might be more complex since I'm not familiar with everything yet.
Do you think you could do that?

[bombshelled]

ya I can do that.
you wanna meet @ Foodland later and get to work?

[r_o_s_i_e]

Sure!
That sounds ideal to me.
I'll meet you there.

[bombshelled]

sweet. see you soon.

[ ooc: do you want to continue to action? ]

-> action, let's do it!!!

[r_o_s_i_e]

You certainly will!

[ True to her word, R.O.S.I.E. shows up to the store swiftly. She doesn't have a whole lot else going on in her life, really, so you know. This chance to help is really exciting. ]

Hello! You must be Lana.

un: luusi

[grief]

You could have saved all that effort, let the idiots drink the bleach and thinned the herd for a week.

Let the basics learn by trial and error. No one will drink bleach again if they go for it once and croak!!!

[bombshelled]

I'm a fucking superhero. I think sitting by while other people drink themselves to death forward against some kind of code or something.

[grief]

A super hero huh??

What's your cool super power then? How many people have u seen drink bleach to make this post necessary?

[bombshelled]

I blow shit up.

[ Simple, powerful. Concise. ]

& no one yet, but when I saw bleach included on Gilia's inventory of all the food in foodland I thought I should probably say something.

[grief]

Kind of hot NGL

In fairness some people here seem a little naive, which is to be expected with some people from the sea or 1276 BCE or whenever. You'd think the smell alone would put them off buuuuuuuuut guess not.

[bombshelled]

ty 💋

ya that's why I figured it would probably be good to do a PSA.

I never fucking thought I would be in this fucked up position alongside people from the dark ages but here we are.

[seaboard]

To Mistress Lana,

Why should they place it in a place called Foodland... if it is not food? That is so very confusing.

Your Friend,
Gilia St. Loe.

[bombshelled]

supermarkets never have names that make sense. there's ones called Giant Eagle, Piggly Wiggly, Big Y.
Foodland is one of the more logical ones.

-Lana

[ Great, now you've got her doing it too. ]

[seaboard]

To Mistress Lana,

I'm afraid to say I do not completely understand, but I thank you for the warning. I will proceed more cautiously going forward.

Your Friend,
Gilia St. Loe

[bombshelled]

hey, like I said in the OP, if you're ever not sure about some weird future thing, just text me and I'll tell you whether it's safe or not.

-L

[seaboard]

To my dear Mistress Lana,

I cannot express my thanks to you, most humbly. I fear I shall run you ragged with questions in time. But from the bottom of my heart I know I should be lost without your guidance.

... And it is the 12th century, I hail from. Not the 14th. I cannot imagine a point so far in the future, but I shall surely have given back to the Sea-Father by then.

[bombshelled]

[ "My dear Mistress Lana" makes her sound like some side piece that a Victorian dude is cheating on his wife with, but she knows Gilia doesn't mean it that way, and to say something to that effect will only confuse her. So she'll keep that thought to herself. ]

sorry, the 12th*
I was just kind of guessing. trying to pick a random date way in the past.

but rly, I don't mind your questions. some assholes might be rude about it, but you're always nice so it's fine.

@Jiang.Wanyin

[legbreakings]

I'm not "from the 14th century"

And I don't appreciate being talked down to like a small, particularly stupid child.

[ But it's still news to him that bleach isn't food and he's from earlier. ]

[bombshelled]

ok, fine. the 12th century BCE.

[ Does she know this asshole? No, but she can definitely tell he's an asshole. ]

if you were planning on drinking bleach then you are a small, particularly stupid child and I'm going to fucking talk to you like one.

[legbreakings]

You're annoying and condescending!

I'm a Sect Leader. You ought to treat me with respect!

[bombshelled]

what in the actual fuck does that even mean?

"sect leader"

am I supposed to be impressed?

[legbreakings]

[ asdfghjkl! ]

Yes!

[bombshelled]

well, sucks to be you, cuz I'm not.