text; un: @bombshell

[bombshelled]

OK, listen up numbnuts. I have some important fucking wisdom to impart here, because apparently half of you are from the 14th fucking century or some shit and don't know how grocery stores work.

not everything at Foodland is food. bleach is not food. bleach is a cleaning supply. if you drink it, it will fucking kill you. don't be the asshole who died drinking bleach. I know the technicians want us to suffer and die or whatever, but that would be doing their work for them. DON'T DRINK BLEACH.

just in general, every product in Foodland should have some kind of label on it with the ingredients. read that first if you're not sure whether it's safe to eat or drink. if you don't know what an ingredient is, ask someone. don't just go putting shit in your mouth like whatever the fuck. use your fucking brain first.

Lana out.

Comments

[seaboard]

To my dear Mistress Lana,

I cannot express my thanks to you, most humbly. I fear I shall run you ragged with questions in time. But from the bottom of my heart I know I should be lost without your guidance.

... And it is the 12th century, I hail from. Not the 14th. I cannot imagine a point so far in the future, but I shall surely have given back to the Sea-Father by then.

[bombshelled]

[ "My dear Mistress Lana" makes her sound like some side piece that a Victorian dude is cheating on his wife with, but she knows Gilia doesn't mean it that way, and to say something to that effect will only confuse her. So she'll keep that thought to herself. ]

sorry, the 12th*
I was just kind of guessing. trying to pick a random date way in the past.

but rly, I don't mind your questions. some assholes might be rude about it, but you're always nice so it's fine.

[seaboard]

[She's be!! Horrified!!

Also what is monogamy that you feel a need to cheat on your spouse, she has not a clue. ]

As long as I am not an imposition, I am ever so thankful for your guidance to me. Writing these letters has been become so much less a chore since you told me of this marvellous 'backspace' mark.

Though, I must wonder, if I am in the past to you, what you must think of me. I know many people in my own time think of the past behind us as backward. I hope I say or do nothing too foolish to you.

[bombshelled]

I mean... some of the way you talk and dress is weird. idk if I would call it "foolish" or "backward." it's just different. but I wouldn't expect everything to be the same, given that we're from completely different times.

[seaboard]

I suppose... well I do have a connection with a spirit, that would be a fated kind of life.

But yes, I suppose so. I hope I do not trouble anyone too much. I should be so unhappy to cause others to be discomfited.

[bombshelled]

I think this bullshit place we're stuck in is more discomforting than anything you could do. so you're probably fine.

[seaboard]

It does seem... it does seem quite... unfair of them. To do so without even invitation?

[bombshelled]

I mean, if they asked people beforehand... nobody would say yes.

"r u willing to suffer and die so we can jack off to our psycho old gods or whatever?"

"uhhhh, no thx, you can go fuck right off."

[seaboard]

Lana!

You should not... not speak so ... so unkindly...

[ they could be listening and then we're all fucked HELP. ]

[bombshelled]

why the fuck not? they fucking kidnapped me, I think I'm allowed to flip my shit over that.

[ Telling Lana not to go off... Yeah, good luck. ]

[seaboard]

I fear I have not your comfort in airing my grievances in such a ... way.

[bombshelled]

eh... I guess people are a lot less polite in the 21st century.

[seaboard]

[ She swallows down dry words on the back of her throat. ]

When men of my world have a grievance to share, it is done with swords and magic. A slight such as that ends in an execution, nothing less.

[bombshelled]

well idk how to use a sword and I don't really have any magic, but I could definitely go for the satisfaction of blowing a Technician to fucking pieces.

[seaboard]

What you do sounds very much like the magic of my people.

Though all have it, not but a few. Any may have a power of their own if they find a spirit willing.

But yes, we do not allow others to speak in such manners, especially not to us. It can be grounds for war if done incorrectly to the wrong person.