backdated to August 9th @Jiang.Wanyin

[legbreakings]

Do raccoons hunt ducks, and if they don't, can they be trained to?

Comments

[legbreakings]

But how am I supposed to ignore them when they flock to me every time I leave the house? And they're quacking as soon as the sun rises! I'm going to turn into a Lan before this is over!

[ Great. Now they're both whining. ]

[porndealer]

Just pull out Zidian and scare them when they flock at you outside!

[Huaisang huffs.]

All this shouting about ducks is making me tired.

[legbreakings]

[ Jiang Cheng makes a strangled noise. ]

You are tired! What am I supposee to say then! The little beasts wake me up even earlier than at Cloud Recesses!

[porndealer]

Stuff your ears with something so you won't hear!

[legbreakings]

Why should I have to when I could just wring their feathery little necks instead!

[ If he could catch them, anyway. It's very theoretical neck wringing, considering it's a well-proven fact that it takes more than three cultivators to catch a single chicken, never mind a whole flock of ducks. ]

[porndealer]

You're making more noise than the ducks at this point!

[He's so tired of yelling about ducks now, Jiang Cheng. Please.]

If you do kill them could I have one? Roast duck sounds so good right now...

[legbreakings]

[ Well. That shuts him up. Kinda. He is busy fantasizing about roast duck. ]

I do like roast duck... I wonder if these would be juicy. We could have one roasted crispy, with a nice spicy sauce.

[ Oh no. Oh nooo. Now he's gone and made himself hungry. ]

[porndealer]

[You've made him hungry now! Terrible.]

That sounds so good... now my stomach is rumbling.

[legbreakings]

I wonder if I could bribe Jiejie to roast us a duck.

[ So! Hungry! ]

Hers is delicious. Mine is just charred.

[porndealer]

After hearing Wei-xiong talk about her lotus rib soup I can only imagine anything she makes is the best.

You're her brother, if you ask really nicely I'm sure she would.

[legbreakings]

Fine. I'll go and ask her.

[ A moment's pause. Thinky think. ]

If we have duck, you're invited, I guess.

[porndealer]

[Huaisang chuckles a little, gleefully.]

Thank you, Jiang-zongzhu, that's very kind of you. Nie Huaisang of Qinghe Nie sect gladly accepts your invitation.

[legbreakings]

Don't be smug about it and make me regret it! [ Even if he actually sounds pretty amused and not at all threatening. ]

[porndealer]

Why would you regret my company?

[Many reasons.]

Call me if I need to come over. Good luck with your ducks, Jiang-xiong!

[legbreakings]

[ There's just grumbling before he hangs up. ]