Jiang Cheng ~ Jiang Wanyin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
legbreakings) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
vestigenet2020-08-19 08:16 pm
legbreakings) wrote in vestigenet2020-08-19 08:16 pm
backdated to August 9th @Jiang.Wanyin
Do raccoons hunt ducks, and if they don't, can they be trained to?
Having a fowl problem, Jiang-xiong?
Nie Huaisang, that's not funny!
[ His indignant squawking might be very funny, though. ]
There is a flock of rabid ducks outside my door!
[ His indignant squawking might be very funny, though. ]
There is a flock of rabid ducks outside my door!
Just a little bit.
[Maybe his squawking makes them think he's one of their own.]
Why would they be outside your door? Did you feed them? Just keep yelling and you should spook them away.
[Maybe his squawking makes them think he's one of their own.]
Why would they be outside your door? Did you feed them? Just keep yelling and you should spook them away.
Edited (Typos) 2020-08-19 18:36 (UTC)
[ There is a long, vaguely guilty silence. ]
I might have thrown my cake into the lake.
I might have thrown my cake into the lake.
Edited 2020-08-19 18:39 (UTC)
[Hope Jiang Cheng enjoys Huaisang laughing. That's all he's getting.]
[ !!! ]
You traitor!
[ More yelling. Now if only he would try yelling at the ducks like that. ]
You traitor!
[ More yelling. Now if only he would try yelling at the ducks like that. ]
Jiejie, no!
We're not keeping the ducks, I don't care how cute they are!
We're not keeping the ducks, I don't care how cute they are!
[Oh now you've got him giggling as he tries to talk.]
Haha- yes! Just like that, but at the ducks!
Haha- yes! Just like that, but at the ducks!
[ Why would you giggle at him! So cruel! ]
Don't be ridiculous! I'm not going to call the ducks traitors, they are marine vermin!
Don't be ridiculous! I'm not going to call the ducks traitors, they are marine vermin!
You threw the first stone, Jiang-xiong.
A giant sugary cake shaped one. You could always use Zidian... roast duck sounds good.
A giant sugary cake shaped one. You could always use Zidian... roast duck sounds good.
I would. But Jiejie likes the ducks. [ And he sounds so long-suffering about it. ] I don't think she would like me bullying them. Or frying them with Zidian. Even though roast duck would be delicious! And it's not like I was feeding them cake on purpose!
You didn't see what the cake said, Jiejie! I wasn't going to put up with that!
[ Yes, he is in full-blown pouting mode now. No shame. ]
I would like some of your cake, but only if you don't mind sharing.
[ Yes, he is in full-blown pouting mode now. No shame. ]
I would like some of your cake, but only if you don't mind sharing.
It sounds like you might have to come to a truce with them. For her sake.
[The flick of a fan might be able to be heard, Huaisang is laying on his bed with the phone nearby as he tries not to melt.]
Toss out some food and maybe they'll go away?
[The flick of a fan might be able to be heard, Huaisang is laying on his bed with the phone nearby as he tries not to melt.]
Toss out some food and maybe they'll go away?
No.
[ Some pouty silence because yeah it sure looks like the ducks aren't going away. And nobody has ideas how to weaponize the raccoons so he can say they did it, it wasn't him. ]
Throwing them food is how it started. I only had one duck. Then I threw my cake into the lake. Now they think I'm feeding them.
[ Some pouty silence because yeah it sure looks like the ducks aren't going away. And nobody has ideas how to weaponize the raccoons so he can say they did it, it wasn't him. ]
Throwing them food is how it started. I only had one duck. Then I threw my cake into the lake. Now they think I'm feeding them.
[Jiang Cheng you asked publicly how to train raccoons to attack the ducks. You would be complacent in this massacre.]
Not thinking before you act, Jiang-xiong, tsk, now you must atone for it.
[He's just being a little shit now.]
Not thinking before you act, Jiang-xiong, tsk, now you must atone for it.
[He's just being a little shit now.]
I did think before I acted! I thought that I would throw this disgusting, insulting cake into the lake and tell our captors exactly what I think of it!
[ See? Perfect logic. ]
[ See? Perfect logic. ]
You could have just yelled at them over the phone. I'm sure they're always listening.
[Ehhhh... don't know about that, chief.]
[Ehhhh... don't know about that, chief.]
But it wouldn't have been as satisfying! And then I would have still been stuck with the insulting cake!
[ It had said sorry you're such a hateful person and really, that had dug too deep to remain reasonable. ]
[ It had said sorry you're such a hateful person and really, that had dug too deep to remain reasonable. ]
Well now you're stuck with demanding ducks.
[You lose some... you definitely lose all the time, Jiang Cheng.]
[You lose some... you definitely lose all the time, Jiang Cheng.]
[ Rude! ]
You don't need to tell me that! I'm being accosted every time I leave the house!
You don't need to tell me that! I'm being accosted every time I leave the house!
Have you asked them nicely to go away? Did you say please and thank you?
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