(voice) un: brick.master (backdated to the 20th)

[backpacking]

This place has a whole lotta creepy shit, but you know what it doesn't have? Jokes.

[ Hello and Good Day: over the network comes the light, amused voice of a 15-year-old girl. ]

Figured it'd do us all some good to lighten the mood. Keeps the blood pressure down! Unless you're allergic to fun, or something, in which case, uh... I dunno. Tune me out?

Okay, first one. Let's get warmed up. If you're an American in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?

[ DRAMATIC PAUSE ]

European. [ ~ta-da~ ] Next one, and I'll let you chime in this time. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

Comments

voice; un: lan.sizhui

[deferences]

[he..... doesn't get it? but in sizhui's defense, he's from ancient china, so he's likely not going to understand any jokes ellie tells. no matter, however, curiosity killed the cat! oh, and he's not allergic to fun at all, especially harmless stuff like jokes.]

No, I didn't hear about that. What happened? How did they die?

[hopefully it wasn't here or else they're gonna have to start monster-hunting. which would be unfortunate, seeing as he's gotten used to it being (oddly) quiet.]

[backpacking]

[ It's okay, Sizhui; her jokes are............not great ]

They pasta-way.

[ ....... ]

Get it? 'Cause...

[deferences]

[they're terrific and deserve proper appreciation! sorry she won't get it from him, but he can at least appreciate the effort since if he knew anything about italy and pasta, that'd be downright hilarious.]

Because... passed away? [isn't that what usually happens when people die???]

My apologies, I must not be understanding correctly.

[backpacking]

No, like - [ nothing better than jokes that you have to explain ] pasta...way. Like, he passed away, but - he's Italian, so. Pasta.

[ PLEASE say you get it now, my dude ]

[deferences]

[oh, this is surely painful for ellie—

and unfortunately, sizhui still doesn't quite get the joke, but watch him smile, nod then offer the faintest chuckle anyway.] The Italian and pasta have something in common then, I'm assuming.

[backpacking]

Yeah, they...sorta invented pasta. [ There's a pause, and then a weak chuckle. ] Uh, never mind. It's okay.

[ Never mind as she scrambles to try and think of another one - ]

You know what pasta is, though, right?

[deferences]

[pasta is familiar, thank goodness, sizhui's pretty sure he (over)cooked some the other day; it wasn't all that bad, really? ...he has more than likely had worse.]

I do believe so? I've tried making something called ‘macaroni and cheese,’ though it did not turn out too well, unfortunately.

[backpacking]

Oh, sweet. That's some of the best pasta. [ Some common ground!! ] I'm no chef, but I can probably make some for you. There's a lot of food around here for some reason, so...maybe there's noodles and cheese, too?

[ Is that too much to ask for their weird, open prison? ]

[deferences]

Is it? Perhaps when made properly... [although it seems he needn't even hint toward the idea of asking her for help.] Ah, I'd appreciate that a lot! I'll watch while you make it too, that way I can learn the proper technique.

[certainly it couldn't be!] Should we look for ingredients together sometime?

[backpacking]

[ She's learned to be wary of strangers, and this one isn't even a face she can see, but...it's probably fine to make promises over the phone and then decide how she feels about it later, right? ]

Uh - Sure. But we probably won't have any fresh dairy stuff without cows. Or goats, or...any of those guys. Any chance you've seen farm animals around?

[deferences]

[completely, one-hundred-percent fine! and especially when it's someone like sizhui who wouldn't even hurt a fly.]

I can't say that I have... [a soft, contemplative hum then a quiet ‘oh!’] The odd, magical cold-box made of metal usually has all sorts of things inside it?

[backpacking]

The fridge? [ She smiles, though, and nods (though he won't see it). ] Uh - yeah, that could work. ...But, if the stuff in there has been sitting around, it might not still be good. The cold helps for a while, but not forever.

[ Since he's new to refrigerators and all. ]

Not sure I'd eat dairy that's been in there for months or longer.

[deferences]

Yes, the fridge! Thank you.

[one of these days, he'll remember the proper term.] How does one tell if it's gone bad? [following the soft sound of shuffling feet,] I suppose I should ask what the milk might look like first? What sort of container it's in?

[since he isn't all too familiar with modern-day milk, either.]

sorry for the delay!

[backpacking]

Uh - it'd probably smell. Plus, it'll be growing mold, if it's food. Milk, I think, like...curdles, maybe? So, like, it gets kinda...chunky. [ What would the milk here look like? Hmm. ] I think that depends, but probably like a big, white jug. Maybe a plastic container, this high?

[ She'll use her hands to guess at about how big a 'normal' container of milk would be, though there's no telling what this bizarre place has to offer. ]

Could even be in a glass bottle, I think.

not a problem at all!! as you can see, i am perpetually slow myself ahaha

[deferences]

[gross, he thinks, wrinkling his nose at even the idea of something stinking up the fridge because no one thought to throw it out. blessedly, the appliance doesn't smell funky and he isn't seeing any big white jugs, plastic containers (what even are those, frankly?) or glass bottles.

both a relief and disappointing, mostly the latter though, since he'd been looking forward to making mac n' cheese proper-like.]

I'm not seeing anything like any of that, unfortunately... Do you think the gas station might have some?

[backpacking]

Maybe. I only went through there once, but I was pretty distracted by...everything. [ There's a pause, and she adds, by way of explanation: ] Where I come from, there really aren't...places like that, all full up on supplies and stuff.

[ They're typically dilapidated and completely cleared out, 20-some-odd-years after Outbreak Day. ]

But I'll keep an eye out?

seems like a perf place to wrap if it's good with you?? i'm absolutely hitting your toplevel c:

[deferences]

Really? Hmmm. [the briefest pause then he continues, obviously smiling just by the way he sounds.] Then I hope you collected any and everything you need there! The gas station never seems to run out, so...

[sounds about right for the zombie apocalypse that sizhui has no clue of.]

I will, too! Hopefully one of us will be lucky enough to find some.