JANUARY 21ST, @JIANG.WANYIN, VIDEO

[legbreakings]

[ For once, the residents of the containment zone are treated to a video message from Jiang Wanyin, the local weirdo who has yet to figure out that the network isn't his personal diary.

He's looking disgruntled huddled under several blankets and cradling a cup of steaming hot tea, and still shivering from the cold. ]

Somebody, please tell me this is a joke. Are they trying to drown us in snow now? If they want to kill us, I'd rather be fighting another beast!


locked to Lan Sizhui

Make sure you don't lose a toe to the cold or I'll break your legs.

Comments

@wei.wuxian, text.

[mannerless]

So a piece of rope walks into an inn, and the innkeep says "We don't serve your kind around here!"

Now the rope walks out back, ties himself up, and unravels his ends, then walks back into the bar, and the inkeep says, "hey, aren't you that rope that was just in here a minute ago?"

And the rope says, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."




...Ah, whoops. I thought you said 'somebody, please tell me a joke'.

[legbreakings]

Wei Wuxian!

Do you want to die?

[mannerless]

Right, right, what was I thinking? Talking ropes, how ridiculous. If I'm to make a joke then it should be a bit more relevant, hmm??

Try this:

Where does Sect Leader Jiang keep his armies?

[legbreakings]

WEI WUXIAN WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY ARMIES IN PUBLIC

[mannerless]

IN

HIS

SLEEVIES

[legbreakings]

THAT DOES NOT EVEN MAKE SENSE

Where are you so I can hunt you down and beat you to death with my phone

[mannerless]

You don't get it??

Y'know, your ARMies? Arms go in SLEEVES?

[legbreakings]

That doesn't make it funny!

[mannerless]

Honestly, that's fair. You wailing about me talking about your armies was much funnier.

Hang on, let me see if I can think of a better one

@lan.sizhui; text

[deferences]

Don't worry, I'd much rather my legs not be broken, so I'll keep ahold of any and all blankets I can get. [he already has three he's been using (and sharing with others) right now. honestly, it looks like jiang wanyin could use one of them.]

I ought to be telling you the same thing! No offense, Jiang-zongzhu, but you look like you're the one that's about to freeze.

Re: @lan.sizhui; text

[legbreakings]

Don't be ridiculous, I'm fine!

[ He is not fine. He is a delicate lotus flower not made for this weather. Sure, sure, he is a mighty immortal cultivator but he is still entitled to feeling very wronged by this weather. ]

I just hate it. I had gotten used to the comfort of the fireless hearths.

[deferences]

[yes, ‘fine’ is definitely how he'd describe jiang cheng in this moment...] Not ridiculous, just sensible.

[although, being fair, the weather's atrocious compared to the earlier snowfall they'd gotten before; that seemed like a dusting in juxtapose.]

I think we all did, to be frank. Is there anything I can do to help?

[legbreakings]

Stay inside and make sure you don't lose any body parts.

[deferences]

[well, there goes his ‘venture outside on a blanket delivery’ idea.] I'm wearing many layers and have blankets to spare, I think I'll do okay.

Will you and miss Yanli be alright, though?

[legbreakings]

I believe we will be alright. We are a little short of firewood but I'm currently arranging something to resolve that.

It's more surprising than anything else. I had grown used to this place providing warmth and light.

[deferences]

Good. Had you not already planned for it, I would've volunteered to bring over some extra.

I do suppose we became dependent on such things. Nothing wrong with it, I'd say, aside from that it's left us ill-prepared for moments like these where we hadn't planned to be without.

[legbreakings]

We need to stop becoming complacent. Maybe that's part of the plan of our captors.

text | @lan.wangji

[taciturnly]

Snow and cold, expected in winter.

Should you and your sister need firewood, my door is unlocked.

[legbreakings]

Snow and cold, yes, but not this much! At least not in Yunmeng.

Your offer is generous. [ And he really wants to refuse it, his poor pride, but... ] I might take you up on it.

[taciturnly]

( look, if lan wangji's managed to stomp on his petty inclinations (and his low-key rancor), you can stomp on your pride. )

Do so, before the weather worsens.

[legbreakings]

Do you expect it to get worse still? You are from the mountains. You must be used to this.

[ This is him trying. Of a sort. ]

[taciturnly]

Perhaps. The skies, unpredictable. As are the Technicians.

Four logs, on the porch.

[legbreakings]

How do you deal with this every winter? It's awful! I'm already sick of the snow.

[ As for the offer... Well. Damn. No way out of that now, right? ]

Thank you. I will come and get them, as soon as I can get us dug out.

[taciturnly]

Light a candle, or curse the darkness. The latter leads nowhere.

[legbreakings]

Lan words of wisdom don't melt the snow any faster, Hanguang-jun.