JANUARY 21ST, @JIANG.WANYIN, VIDEO

[legbreakings]

[ For once, the residents of the containment zone are treated to a video message from Jiang Wanyin, the local weirdo who has yet to figure out that the network isn't his personal diary.

He's looking disgruntled huddled under several blankets and cradling a cup of steaming hot tea, and still shivering from the cold. ]

Somebody, please tell me this is a joke. Are they trying to drown us in snow now? If they want to kill us, I'd rather be fighting another beast!


locked to Lan Sizhui

Make sure you don't lose a toe to the cold or I'll break your legs.

Comments

@wei.wuxian, text.

[mannerless]

So a piece of rope walks into an inn, and the innkeep says "We don't serve your kind around here!"

Now the rope walks out back, ties himself up, and unravels his ends, then walks back into the bar, and the inkeep says, "hey, aren't you that rope that was just in here a minute ago?"

And the rope says, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."




...Ah, whoops. I thought you said 'somebody, please tell me a joke'.

@lan.sizhui; text

[deferences]

Don't worry, I'd much rather my legs not be broken, so I'll keep ahold of any and all blankets I can get. [he already has three he's been using (and sharing with others) right now. honestly, it looks like jiang wanyin could use one of them.]

I ought to be telling you the same thing! No offense, Jiang-zongzhu, but you look like you're the one that's about to freeze.

[legbreakings]

Wei Wuxian!

Do you want to die?

Re: @lan.sizhui; text

[legbreakings]

Don't be ridiculous, I'm fine!

[ He is not fine. He is a delicate lotus flower not made for this weather. Sure, sure, he is a mighty immortal cultivator but he is still entitled to feeling very wronged by this weather. ]

I just hate it. I had gotten used to the comfort of the fireless hearths.

[mannerless]

Right, right, what was I thinking? Talking ropes, how ridiculous. If I'm to make a joke then it should be a bit more relevant, hmm??

Try this:

Where does Sect Leader Jiang keep his armies?

[legbreakings]

WEI WUXIAN WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY ARMIES IN PUBLIC

[mannerless]

IN

HIS

SLEEVIES

[legbreakings]

THAT DOES NOT EVEN MAKE SENSE

Where are you so I can hunt you down and beat you to death with my phone

[mannerless]

You don't get it??

Y'know, your ARMies? Arms go in SLEEVES?

[legbreakings]

That doesn't make it funny!

[mannerless]

Honestly, that's fair. You wailing about me talking about your armies was much funnier.

Hang on, let me see if I can think of a better one

[legbreakings]

I wasn't wailing!

I was threatening you with murder!

after a long pause, switches to private

[mannerless]

Do you need anything? You or Shijie. Wood for the fireplace, perhaps? I didn't see a fire in that video of yours.

Before you argue - I'm not sure the weather can hurt me. (It's a bit of a long story, I'll tell you once I've figured things out for certain.)

text | @lan.wangji

[taciturnly]

Snow and cold, expected in winter.

Should you and your sister need firewood, my door is unlocked.

[legbreakings]

We are a little bit short of firewood, yes.

[ Which he wouldn't admit if it were just himself but A-Jie is here, too. He can swallow his pride for her, at least. ]

But I won't have you doing anything stupid and reckless.

[legbreakings]

Snow and cold, yes, but not this much! At least not in Yunmeng.

Your offer is generous. [ And he really wants to refuse it, his poor pride, but... ] I might take you up on it.

[taciturnly]

( look, if lan wangji's managed to stomp on his petty inclinations (and his low-key rancor), you can stomp on your pride. )

Do so, before the weather worsens.

[legbreakings]

Do you expect it to get worse still? You are from the mountains. You must be used to this.

[ This is him trying. Of a sort. ]

[taciturnly]

Perhaps. The skies, unpredictable. As are the Technicians.

Four logs, on the porch.

[legbreakings]

How do you deal with this every winter? It's awful! I'm already sick of the snow.

[ As for the offer... Well. Damn. No way out of that now, right? ]

Thank you. I will come and get them, as soon as I can get us dug out.

[taciturnly]

Light a candle, or curse the darkness. The latter leads nowhere.

[legbreakings]

Lan words of wisdom don't melt the snow any faster, Hanguang-jun.

[taciturnly]

Endurance prevails.

As does firewood.

[legbreakings]

I don't lack in endurance. I'll be working on the firewood.

[taciturnly]

Nor do you in grievances.

May your home remain warm.

( in like, many ways. when do you NOT gripe, jiang wanyin?? )