vestigenet | video; un: slutty.sin.boy

[ it's a video post from our resident bard, because figuring out how to turn on a camera is slightly easier than navigating a full text message for one, but more importantly because if jaskier is given an opportunity to perform for an audience, he's going to take it.

unfortunately, while he has managed to figure out he video chat function with a small bit of coaching, he clearly has yet to actually master it, if the way his beaming face is only half framed in the feed is any indication. unless he's just going for something artful, anyway, which isn't completely out of the question but slightly more unlikely when it involves depriving the other residents of his beautiful face. ]

I'm lead to understand that this delightful little device is meant to communicate with others across long distances and doesn't even require that the user be adept in the art of magic and I. Am. Excited.

Hello darlings, I am the renowned bard Jaskier and I am aroused to such heights of creativity by this fascinating little place and all the beautiful people in it. If any of your are interested in having any of your past feats of glory epitomized in epic verse, I would love to hear all about it!

[ and here, a wink to help entice anyone that might be slightly on the fence at the moment. ] Call me!

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He’s cute.

[ are you two in the same fucking house, you codependent goons ]

Let’s keep him.

( eliot can definitely hear the prolonged french groaning from both his phone and the balcony. )

Now now, Gigi.

[ despite the fact that he could just. go out and talk to her??? eliot is not going to do this, because then jaskier might not hear him saying flattering things. ]

We mustn't reject things before we've tried them.

( there's a prim delay, and then, )

I said, move to your left and straighten the phone.

( let her get a better look. )

[ jaskier is absolutely fucking delighted with the direction this conversation is going and he hasn't even really had a hand in it yet. he knew that eliot fellow was good news.

grinning even wider than before in a way that makes his whole self seem to just sort of sparkle, he agreeably moves the phone as gwen has directed him to. ]

I hope this is more to your liking, fair lady. I would so hate to disappoint.

Look how well he takes direction, darling.

[ also the sparkling; despite the deep and abiding over-familiarity he's technically only known gwen for like ... hours in the double digits, so he doesn't know she isn't interested in her fellows sparkling, but. highlight those other fine qualities instead, he will enjoy the sparkling in his own mind. ]

( her feed flicks to video- a small, dark-haired thing with almost the same face as her brother, sat smoking on their balcony in triangle bra and shorts that don't look convincingly like real clothes from this angle, regarding jaskier with continuing mild skepticism. )

They don't give Lamborghinis to people who need directions.

[ well he'd already met eliot, and such a delightful meeting it had been that recognizing his voice later and immediately attaching it to his face was hardly a difficult matter. and gwen's voice had been more than enough to have him charmed at the outset, but now that he realizes he's conversing with siblings?

it's like today is his birthday and he'd simply forgotten until now. not to mention this new land's remarkably relaxed attitude about exposed skin. ]

I'm afraid I do not know what a Lamborghini is, my dear lady, but I can assure you that I am flexible in all manner of ways that your heart could possibly desire.

[ mean he can take direction or initiative. and also, that he's, you know, flexible. in bed. ]

[ Eliot saunters into view from about the ribcage down, and promptly drapes himself across his cross dimensional sister, head in her lap. ]

They give Lamborghinis to any mouth-breathing tool with enough money.

[ he’ll worry about explaining what a Lamborghini is later. Having tried reasoning for at least three seconds, he now resorts to his next favorite rhetorical strategy: whining. ]

Gigiiiii, I can’t just curl his toes on my own, now, I threw the threesome gauntlet.

Edited 2020-07-10 00:46 (UTC)

( she is so deeply put upon, threading her fingers affectionately through eliot's hair. )

If this isn't worth my while, I kick you both out into the woods to forage for trousers.

[ curl his toes, oh my, this exchange is just becoming more and more promising, isn't it? jaskier is such an admirer of great beauty, after all, and this combination before him is quite beautiful indeed.

give him a second here to thank the gods for this gift. ]

I wouldn't dream of leaving you unsatisfied, darling. A Bard's duty is but to serve and entertain, after all. And I am the best Bard around.

[ and ......then there was a handwaved threesome? ]

video; un: slutty.sin.boy

voice; un: fathercomplex

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