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[ it's a video post from our resident bard, because figuring out how to turn on a camera is slightly easier than navigating a full text message for one, but more importantly because if jaskier is given an opportunity to perform for an audience, he's going to take it.

unfortunately, while he has managed to figure out he video chat function with a small bit of coaching, he clearly has yet to actually master it, if the way his beaming face is only half framed in the feed is any indication. unless he's just going for something artful, anyway, which isn't completely out of the question but slightly more unlikely when it involves depriving the other residents of his beautiful face. ]

I'm lead to understand that this delightful little device is meant to communicate with others across long distances and doesn't even require that the user be adept in the art of magic and I. Am. Excited.

Hello darlings, I am the renowned bard Jaskier and I am aroused to such heights of creativity by this fascinating little place and all the beautiful people in it. If any of your are interested in having any of your past feats of glory epitomized in epic verse, I would love to hear all about it!

[ and here, a wink to help entice anyone that might be slightly on the fence at the moment. ] Call me!

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( pardon him, he's still getting used to this - the video turns on upside-down, but rights itself almost immediately and here's a man in grey and green robes (thicker and more comfortable than those of the one cultivator jaskier has met so far) and an expression caught between intrigue and humor. )

Let me make sure I understand. I tell you a tale, then you sing about it?

Do I then get to tell you who to sing it to?

( he has never heard of a bard before, but he's liking what he's seeing so far. )

Edited 2020-07-05 23:47 (UTC)

[ jaskier can hardly blame anyone else for struggling with these strange little devices. while he's quite a quick learner when he needs to be, these... phones? are a completely foreign experience to him.

and, goodness but there are an awful lot of attractive people stuck in this place with him, it can hardly be considered a problem honestly. ]

You are correct, good sir!

Certainly, I prefer to be witness to the accomplishment myself - it helps add to the sincerity, you see - but if I let something like that prevent me from taking advantage of this boon of an opportunity not to learn and listen to the no doubt exciting lives of everyone here with me, I should just retire to academia now so I can grow grey and sedentary.

[ jaskier doesn't know wei wuxian yet, so he can be excused for not realizing what sort of mischief he's hoping to get up to with all of this, though in truth jaskier would hardly mind even if he did. ]

My songs are for the masses, but if there's one resident of this place in particular that you would like to hear the finished piece directly, it would hardly be charitable of me to deny you.

[ Frankly, Geralt has no clue how Jaskier even has the energy. It's hardly been any time at all and he's already sick of it, while Jaskier decides that it's the perfect time to make friends and write new songs. Maybe there's not really much else for him to do either, but.

Still.

Geralt's a lot more interested in the cans of food that he's found, and is investigating them closely while Jaskier talks to the strange box. ]

Are you going to twist their stories too?

[ Dryly. ]

[ for jaskier, at this point in his life, monotony and repetition are equivalent to death. sure, the circumstances around this new situation could have been a bit better, but thus far the worst thing to happen were a couple of monsters and that was just as good as being home, really.

meeting new people is fun, whatever opinion geralt might have on the matter.

jaskier makes an effort to make sure that the camera is no longer recording him before he turns to pull a long suffering look at geralt, the sort you can only share with someone you've known long enough to be exasperated yet inured to this sort of nonsense. ]

Oh there's hardly any point in that, is there? All of us are far from home right now, there's nobody to impress or protect except each other. And in such a small sample size, artful exaggeration is hardly likely to hold up against scrutiny, is it?

[ he sets the phone gently down on a tabletop and strides over to poke geralt once in the chest with a finger before wagging it scoldingly in front of his face. ]

Maybe if you gave me a bit more to work with in your recountings I wouldn't be forced to resort to a bit of extra flavor.

[ Scoff. ]

Didn't stop you from lying about the elves.

[ You were there! And, no, he will never shut up about it. Don't you pin this on him. ]

[ not this old song and dance again. ]

Honestly, Geralt. [ a soft, resigned sort of sigh, as if to say that he is being patient with geralt but even his patience must one day run out.

(it's a sigh jaskier has heard directed his way many a time, from quite a young age). ]

In all the years that you've known me, do I truly strike you as such a simple creature as to only have one motivation at any given time for the things that I do?

Let me put it this way. If the elves had done as you bid them and killed you only to set me free, the song I would have written after would be the most honest that you had ever heard - so honest, in fact, that every elf loathing person in all of the kingdoms would have known precisely where to find Filavandrel and his coterie. And I would not stop in singing that song until every single one of them was dead.

[ as he speaks, his tone of voice manages to seamlessly shift from airy whimsy to cold hard truth, that thing geralt is so very fond of. he doesn't even sound especially angry, just. oh so very honest.

and then he blinks, and decides to turn that blink into a fluttering of his lashes as a fresh smile blooms on his face. ]

But they didn't, and thus I felt no real desire to paint any more of a target on their backs than there already was.

[ You know--

He hates that that makes sense, a little. And, at first, he only gives his customary 'hm' of recognition and acceptance, maybe even approval. Then there's a pause, a moment or two, before he adds blankly: ]

If they'd killed me.

[ The shit.

Firstly, they'd only just met. Secondly, he wouldn't want that. Thirdly, they'd just met. Fourth...ly? He's not worth that. That's absurd. ]

[ honestly geralt how can you still be surprised by this revelation after all these years. jaskier loves hard and he loves quick and yes, he'd been young back then, starry eyed in the worst possible way and more than a little foolish.

but geralt has long ago earned his... admittedly at first shallow interest in the tall dark handsome man brooding alone in a corner, and his everlasting friendship aside. ]

Yes, Geralt, if they killed you. [ jaskier confirms patiently, having some idea of the direction of geralt's thoughts right now. ] I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but you are a good person and I care about it. Yes, even back then.

[ and he takes a moment here now to make sure he meets geralt's eyes so the man knows how serious he's being about this, before he smiles whimsically and sufficiently breaks the atmosphere with: ] And besides, the world would have been a much uglier place without you in it, in every sense of the word.

[ There's a hint of discomfort on Geralt's face when Jaskier looks at him, and subtle as it is, Jaskier has undoubtedly learnt to read that by now. 'Good' is really pushing it, isn't it? He tries to do good things, but he's pretty bad at doing good things. It often doesn't seem to matter how much he tries, because in the end he has to do something he didn't want to do anyway.

At least Jaskier is kind enough to give him an out from the conversation. He rolls his eyes, then walks over to sit down next to the bard. ]

Fine. I'll forgive that lie.

[ while there was certainly something of an art to learning how to read geralt in his more complex moments, it had taken jaskier very little exposure to the other man to figure out how much trouble he had with granting himself any sort of grace when it came to the quality of his soul.

if jaskier doesn't talk him up, who will, honestly? jaskier opens his space up to geralt as he sits down next to him, instantly receptive to his proximity, and offers the witcher an eye roll of his own. ]

That's very generous of you, thank you kind sir.

[ Dryly: ]

That's me. A beacon of generosity.

[ Then, he slumps a little, staring blankly ahead at the wall. What the hell do they do now? He has no interest in playing anyone's games, especially not those who are so cowardly they won't even show themselves. There has to be a way out of here. ]

Straighten your device and shift an inch left.

Edited 2020-07-05 22:12 (UTC)

He’s cute.

[ are you two in the same fucking house, you codependent goons ]

Let’s keep him.

( eliot can definitely hear the prolonged french groaning from both his phone and the balcony. )

Now now, Gigi.

[ despite the fact that he could just. go out and talk to her??? eliot is not going to do this, because then jaskier might not hear him saying flattering things. ]

We mustn't reject things before we've tried them.

( there's a prim delay, and then, )

I said, move to your left and straighten the phone.

( let her get a better look. )

[ jaskier is absolutely fucking delighted with the direction this conversation is going and he hasn't even really had a hand in it yet. he knew that eliot fellow was good news.

grinning even wider than before in a way that makes his whole self seem to just sort of sparkle, he agreeably moves the phone as gwen has directed him to. ]

I hope this is more to your liking, fair lady. I would so hate to disappoint.

Look how well he takes direction, darling.

[ also the sparkling; despite the deep and abiding over-familiarity he's technically only known gwen for like ... hours in the double digits, so he doesn't know she isn't interested in her fellows sparkling, but. highlight those other fine qualities instead, he will enjoy the sparkling in his own mind. ]

( her feed flicks to video- a small, dark-haired thing with almost the same face as her brother, sat smoking on their balcony in triangle bra and shorts that don't look convincingly like real clothes from this angle, regarding jaskier with continuing mild skepticism. )

They don't give Lamborghinis to people who need directions.

[ well he'd already met eliot, and such a delightful meeting it had been that recognizing his voice later and immediately attaching it to his face was hardly a difficult matter. and gwen's voice had been more than enough to have him charmed at the outset, but now that he realizes he's conversing with siblings?

it's like today is his birthday and he'd simply forgotten until now. not to mention this new land's remarkably relaxed attitude about exposed skin. ]

I'm afraid I do not know what a Lamborghini is, my dear lady, but I can assure you that I am flexible in all manner of ways that your heart could possibly desire.

[ mean he can take direction or initiative. and also, that he's, you know, flexible. in bed. ]

[ Eliot saunters into view from about the ribcage down, and promptly drapes himself across his cross dimensional sister, head in her lap. ]

They give Lamborghinis to any mouth-breathing tool with enough money.

[ he’ll worry about explaining what a Lamborghini is later. Having tried reasoning for at least three seconds, he now resorts to his next favorite rhetorical strategy: whining. ]

Gigiiiii, I can’t just curl his toes on my own, now, I threw the threesome gauntlet.

Edited 2020-07-10 00:46 (UTC)

( she is so deeply put upon, threading her fingers affectionately through eliot's hair. )

If this isn't worth my while, I kick you both out into the woods to forage for trousers.

[ curl his toes, oh my, this exchange is just becoming more and more promising, isn't it? jaskier is such an admirer of great beauty, after all, and this combination before him is quite beautiful indeed.

give him a second here to thank the gods for this gift. ]

I wouldn't dream of leaving you unsatisfied, darling. A Bard's duty is but to serve and entertain, after all. And I am the best Bard around.

[ and ......then there was a handwaved threesome? ]

[ At least Jaskier is better at figuring out the smartphone technology than Wen Ning is. He has his camera facing forward, away from his face, so it's just recording a tree. ]

What sorts of tales have you made into songs thus far?

[ the number of fantasy characters in this game having to learn about technology all of a sudden is frankly astonishing. you almost have to feel bad for all the questions the more modern people are probably fielding nonstop. ]

My most popular song by far is "Toss a Coin to Your Witcher". It recounts the first adventure I ever accompanied my friend Geralt with to confront a band of elves at the Edge of the World.

[ here's hoping that if he doesn't get too specific geralt won't go and spoil it's veracity here as well. geralt simply had no regard for the craft. nor of protecting said elves by making everyone think they were already dead.

honestly. ]

It's done a remarkably good job of improving his reception into towns since its inception.

[ ... So much of that went so far over Wen Ning's head. But he just smiles and nods along, accepting that there's a lot that happens here that he's not going to understand. ]

I don't know what elves are or what a witcher is, but if you've been to the edge of the world, you must have traveled very far indeed.

[ that's alright wen ning, jaskier would be more than happy to educate you. ]

Elves are another race with the same basic form as us humans, but with pointed ears and an innate connection to the chaos magic of our world.

A Witcher is a man who travels from town to town that can be enlisted, for a price, to rid the area of whatever monster might be assailing the citizens. Despite this absolutely indispensable job that they do, they are often quite maligned by the ordinary folk and may even be run out of town on occasion.

I took it upon myself to educated the masses on some of his more exciting jobs over the years and I am quite pleased to tell you that his name has risen in such regard that he was invited to sit next to the Queen of Cintra at her daughter's betrothal banquet.

You are correct though. I have traveled quite far in my career.

A Witcher sounds a lot like a cultivator. Only... less popular. Why are they run out of town, if their purpose is to help people get rid of monsters?

[ Cultivators are something like celebrities in Wen Ning's world. Sure, he would likely be feared and maligned and run out of towns, but then he's a fierce corpse, the dreaded Ghost General. ]

That must be exciting! I haven't traveled all that far, really. I went to Gusu once, when I was young. But mostly I stayed in Qishan or Yiling. Well... I did spend 16 years in Lanling, but that wasn't really by choice.

[ Wen Ning, Jaskier didn't ask for any of this... ]

[ congrats on immediately finding yourself in jaskier's good book, wen ning. he will now start bar fights in your honor. ]

I ask myself the same thing constantly, but alas, human nature is prone to hating that which is different because they fear what they cannot understand.

[ he didn't ask, perhaps, but jaskier will never say no to a story freely given, even if there's still plenty left unsaid in this particular story. ]

That certainly is a shame. I'm of the opinion that one should get a good look at the world with their own eyes in order to form a solid opinion of it. I would be more than happy to tell you of my own travels whenever you like, however.

Oh... [ Yeah, that hits close to home. Wen Ning has lost track of the number of times people have run away from him in fear, or been teased and taken advantage of for looking different. ]

I-- I'd like that, I think. What kinds of places have you traveled? Were they very beautiful and exciting?

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