text; un: graham.casner

[casner]

Hello. My name is Graham Casner, and as we all seem to be stuck here for the moment, I'd like to get a headcount and collect a few other potentially useful details. A record of who's here will let us know if anyone goes missing, and the benefit of cataloging what skills we have amidst the group should speak for itself.

In my day to day non-bullshit life I work as an adventure/survival guide; while I can't say for sure how much call we'll have for those services consider me on call for any questions about how to use what we have on hand. I also possess some experience in basic home maintenance, though for anything beyond simple electric/plumbing issues you're out of luck.

To sum up: please reply with your name and any skills, abilities, or otherwise you see as beneficial to our survival. Don't discount what might seem frivolous at first; creature comforts can go a long way.

Thank you for your time.

Comments

[hedoniste]

I am as prepared as any person not a fucking philistine to argue for the value of the arts in crises, but puns in a survival scenario is a stretch.

[casner]

So mentioning it was just to demonstrate how clever you are in an unrelated context?

[hedoniste]

You failed to specify "I don't care about dogs" when you asked for a list of who's here.

[casner]

Does the dog do anything?

[hedoniste]

No.

[casner]

In that case, the answer is a resounding no, I do not care.

[hedoniste]

That's such an unfortunate oversight on your part. Maybe someone's special skill will be helping you un-know information.

( it's funny because she literally could do that, yes. )

[casner]

If your dog goes missing I imagine you’ll be the first to know.

[hedoniste]

I'll probably know if I go missing, too.

[casner]

[ Graham closes this tab and goes to do literally anything else. ]

[hedoniste]

( it doesn't say anything good about her that she feels like she accomplished something, but if no one sees a tree fall on someone's patience in the woods, did it even make a noise. )

[casner]

Should I also have specified “wordplay takes wit, wits are vital in a survival scenario?”

[hedoniste]

I didn't name him.

( that isn't true. )