( MERRY SHITSCRAM ) december 9th, 10:30 AM

[vestigemods]

( a post arrives on the network with no identification, much like the alerts regarding the visitors and the feast in late november. this one, luckily, is more like the latter than the former. )


etc etc.

So! Back in the good old days of Containment Zone Uno, we had some yearly holiday traditions. A little bit of cold, a little bit of potentially mortal injury, a little mistletoe, and some good old-fashioned magnanimous gift-giving. Unfortunately, we were unable to secure the mistletoe this year, something something flesh-eating accident down in Botany, but we're right on track with the rest.

Beginning with gifts.

HOW THIS WORKS: You tell us what you want. We give it to you. We give you the actual thing, not some fucked-up version that teaches you to be careful what you wish for.

HOW THIS DOESN'T WORK: You wishing to go home. You wishing to change your reality at home. You wishing to bring someone from home here. You looking a gift horse in the mouth by asking fifty questions and wasting our time. This is how you lose your wishing privileges, and then you'll be sitting there in bed thinking, "God, I wish I'd just shut up and asked for a unicorn."

WHAT CAN WE DO: Basically anything. We've given you 164 tubs of ice cream and made your arms rot right off their stumps. Just try us.

Offer closes in 72 hours.

( all wishes, once accepted, will arrive (in whatever form they take) on december 20th. )

Comments

@xiao.xingchen

[daozhangs]

To the Technicians,

I request only that you return to Song Zichen the ability to speak as he once could.

If you're able to restore limbs which have been lost, I believe you able to do this as well.

Sincerely,
Xiao Xingchen

[snowflicks]

Xingchen

[daozhangs]

I'll hear your protests aloud once your voice is returned to you, and only then.

[snowflicks]

not protest

we can't trust them

[Being able to talk again is not the problem here. The ones behind it are.]

[daozhangs]

Have they been known to lie? The meal at the tavern was benevolent was safe as promised, and this missive seems forthright enough.

[snowflicks]

we are still here against our will to die for them

there is nothing to trust

[daozhangs]

If we're to suffer and die regardless, what harm could this possibly do?

( but - mm. he pauses, backs up, tries again. )

If you worry that I've called their wrath upon you, I understand. I can adjust my entreaty to something which does not concern you.

[snowflicks]

no

I am not ungrateful for what you've asked of the technicians
but I cannot trust their intentions behind this or the gathering before

[Negative Nancy here.]

[vestigemods]

Expect your delivery a couple of days before Christmas.

( on the 20th, song zichen will indeed wake up with a tongue in his facehole, which will last the duration of his current life and be gone if he dies and respawns. godspeed, you tragic motherfuckers. )