@luusi (nsfw language)

[grief]

OKAY so it has come to my attention that some of you lot haven't had elementary sex education, so I'm just a tiny bit curious about what all you do and don't know about getting a legover.

Tell me if any of this means anything to you:

Handjobs
Blowjobs
69ing
Eating Someone Out
Orgy
Pegging (am I expecting too much with this one?? Who knows.)
Rimming
Do you know what a vibe/dildo might be?????

This is especially for all you ye olden folk out there, since there seems to be a lot of that going on. But Especially Especially for all the ancient Chinese cosplay blokes out there. I refuse to believe my ancestors were so fucking vanilla LMAO like you HAVE to have different words for it or something PLEASE.

Comments

[grief]

IDK honestly but I guess I'm sad you don't. I feel like porn or your parents should have told you something but I don't know your individual situation.

Anyway, want a rundown??

[gusumouthcannon]

Look. Just. Porn is forbidden.

I absolutely need a rundown.

[grief]

Good gracious okay:

Handjob: using your hand to rub down a dick for pleasure, but not your own dick. Another word for that.
Blowjobs: using your mouth to suck on and lick a dick for pleasure. Don’t have a whole lot of first hand experience at this, definitely no expert.
69ing: when you give AND receive oral at the same time. Can be dick or puss in either position
Eating Someone Out: eating pussy. Well, not being literal. You’re putting your lips/tongue on vaginal anatomy.
Orgy: lots of people fucking each other, together.
Pegging: person A doesn’t have a dick, person B probably does. Person A uses something as a dick (dildo, strap on, etc) to stick in Person Bs ass.
Rimming: eating someone out except it’s an asshole
A dildo is a phallic like thing you use in place of a real dick. A vibe is one that vibrates, not necessarily dick like.

That’s the 101 version, any questions?

[gusumouthcannon]

[Give him a second to process. This is a lot!]

Okay but 69ing sounds kind of complicated? What if one of the people is a lot taller than the other person? Do they have to sort of curl up?

Do people really like some of these things? They sound like they would be more uncomfortable than anything.

[grief]

Sometimes you have to get creative which is part of the fun of it.

And yeah. Some people like the uncomfortable part of it tho and much more sadistic shit.

[gusumouthcannon]

Oh.

[Give him a minute.]

What do you mean sadistic shit?

fwd: @wei.wuxian

[gusumouthcannon]

@ wei.wuxian: for you.

[mannerless]

( from down the hall, jingyi almost definitely hears the sound of wei wuxian choking on his tongue. )

I suppose I can't fault you for the sentiment but you're essentially an infant and also not my type.

[gusumouthcannon]

Don't worry, Wei-qianbei, you're not my type either. But this is information that you should know for the future.

[mannerless]

( well that's fucking ominous. what do you know about his future, lan jingyi )

Yes, well, rest assured that porn wasn't forbidden in Lotus Pier.

[gusumouthcannon]

Okay but you are clearly not actually using that knowledge yet, and this helpful list seems very practical. You are welcome.

[mannerless]

( ex

cuse

me )

Are you certain you're a Lan?? Was Hanguang-jun asleep the day they chose you and now he's stuck with you?

[gusumouthcannon]

I am very sorry Wei-qianbei! Hanguang-jun says I have to get off my phone now and cannot reply any more! Please ask him about the list I sent you! It is very important!

[Okay he definitely has not put his phone down, because this comes about a minute later:]

They do not give out the family headbands to just anyone. And ask Hanguang-jun who his favorite is after Sizhui! (Do not tell me if it is not me.)

[not here, but you can bet he's Watching]

[deferences]

[lan jingyi, what are you doing? why do you need to know these things???]

[gusumouthcannon]

[SHE WAS OFFERING FREE INFORMATION!!!! MAYBE HE NEEDS IT!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW!!!]

[deferences]

[WHAT!!! DO YOU NEED!!! IT FOR!!!??? AHHHH]