vestigenet | video; @body.snatcher

[ that’s cool. hours after being revived through what will only be referred to as space magic, shiro here has been abducted and unloaded for some good ol’ torture an’ death. hold up, let him get out his tally sheet:

abductions: III fodder for ptsd: ∞ maiming: III deaths: I

rookie numbers but chances for boosting those tallies are lookin’ good!

speaking of lookin’ good: the video feed opens to shiro’s face. a bit disheveled, a touch exhausted, a whole lot perturbed, he keeps it together for roughly two seconds before he breaks on a sigh. okay, maybe he wasn’t as ready to make an announcement as he’d originally thought. ]

I guess it was too much to hope that this time Earth’s welcome would be better than my last return.

[ dry, very dry, the humor helps dispel his spiking annoyance. ]

Points for originality. [ been there, done that comes to mind, nonetheless. just another dire circumstance to add to the pile. ]

Right. I’m Takashi Shirogane. I’m a new arrival.

[ features setting to an expression more neutral, it’s easy to fall into the more reliable routine of diplomacy. authoritative, matter-of-fact, he sums it all up rather quickly with: ]

I have the pamphlet. The archive. The general gist of what is… happening. [ supposedly happening - but he won’t voice that. it seems far-fetched… though, being abducted by purple aliens waging a ten-thousand year long intergalactic war to take over the universe would have sounded like a b sci-fi movie a couple years ago. so.

clears his throat, refocuses and-- there’s the slightest tell in the waver in his voice and the half-curl of his mouth, the wisp of a smile self-deprecating. ]

Anyway. I’m what you’d call… a little rough right now. [ and he angles the phone, the angle showing more of himself, namely the hub at his right shoulder. ] But even if I don’t have two working hands, I’d like to lend one, in any way to help.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ okay. shiro’s expecting questions. being accepted without some good ol’ vetting first is unlikely. so he’s ready to give answers… to questions that aren’t out of left field.

golden what now? congratulations wanger, you’ve unlocked an achievement: threw shiro off his game in less than 10 seconds.

squints, confusion furrowing his brow. ]

I’m sorry, my what?

Apologies. I thought you a cultivator. My assumptions were unfounded. Do you seek appeasement?

[ mental note: ask about golden cores and cultivators. ~~because is he a joke to you, wangly?? cultivator? does he actually look like a farmer of some sort? ]~~

No harm done. [ being mistaken as a ~~soil turner~~ cultivator is the least horrible thing to happen lately. ]

And, uh, no. I’m fine. Think I’d need something more extensive to set me right, anyway.

[ unless wangy’s got some space magic or a spare bionic arm hidden under those robes. ah well. with all the snow about, surely someone’s made a snowman. maybe he’ll steal its stick arm and fashion it as his own. ]

( WHAT’S WRONG WITH FARMING!! he likes veggies. and he did have quite the experience with manure, once. with a broken leg, too. fun times.

lucky for you though, he does have some kind of magic. nothing space-related, and he can’t grow missing limbs, but. the scars seem to run deep in this one, and he can help that. )

For your arm, seek Cas. ( you see, there’s a thing called weed that he uses for his back. ) For your mind, music. ( namely his own. )

[ NOTHING. JUST. he’s a gd astronaut okay. get it right. manure and broken legs sounds cool tho. white robes involved? highly inadvisable.

now back to the matter at hand - h e h. ]

Music and Cas? [ ALRIGHT. he’ll bite. ] I-- guess some soothing music would help. [ not. he's trying to be diplomatic. but. the kind of demons that are in this pretty head. you don’t know the horrors, wangly. ]

But this Cas-- [ priorities ] Do you know where I can find him? [ say no to drugs kids - fuck, we all know boy scout shiro was probably spearheading his universe’s equivalent of d.a.r.e. ]

( what the hell is an astronaut. let’s just go back to farming, but also, yes, wangly does know the horrors. wangly knows many horrors, of similar and different kinds, and don’t you dare insult his music!!

head inclined in agreement (and encouragement), he guesses the properties of his melodies are probably completely lost on shiro here, but it doesn’t deter him. ) The Gusulan repertoire is vast. I can play for you, if you wish. ( and blow your mind. just how many people is he going to play for? might as well perform for the mass.

and now, priorities indeed. ) As for Cas, you will find him in the twelfth cabin.

[ these horrors wouldn’t happen to involve rabbits, would they? because there’s been some implications made and frankly, those in themselves are p horrifying.

gusulan repertoire-- that’s number three on the list of things sailing over his head in this conversation. but shiro ain’t no rude boy; he’s been raised right. so there’s a gracious smile, albeit slightly dampened by that ever present confusion.

BUT FIRST. ]

Twelfth. Okay. Thank you. [ cas is now considered old news. MOVING ON. ] And yes. If it’s no trouble… I’d like to hear you play. [ smile stronger now, confidence growing in tandem with his interest. ] What instrument do you play?

( NO. LEAVE THE BUNS ALONE.

lan wangji's nod is barely perceptible, though shiro's gratitude is acknowledged nonetheless. ) Mn. Time and place, at your discretion. ( a beat, and then: ) I play the guqin. ( and look, he's actually learned how to use this thing so, here's a picture! )

[ shiro is… not musically inclined. guqin is a word he is fairly certain he is hearing for the first time in his life. which is… not unusual. he’s used to it. used to space escapades that land him in conversations with alien species that have him asking for clarification on at least half the vocab words.

except, wangily isn’t an alien.

so yeah. shiro kind of feels like an idiot. cool. luckily! -- a picture is attached. so it’s-- what? some sort of lap guitar?

he’s. not. musically. inclined. forgive him. ] I can’t say I’ve ever seen, let alone heard a-- guqin before. [ good-natured smile--per usual. ] It’s pretty though. [ is that a thing? do people compliment the look of an instrument? ] How long have you been playing it?

( pretty sure lan wangji would be equally baffled if shiro were to tell him about his many adventures. besides, no one around here seems to know what a guqin is, anyway! to be fair, it does have strings. ) Seven strings. ( to be exact. ) Plucked. ( so it’s kind of a lap guitar. kind of. not really but. )

This one I received in early childhood. ( so he’s been playing for… a few decades, actually. almost three. it’S what farmers do, in his family. but speaking of time... there’s a brief pause, and lan wangji’s brows furrow in curiosity. ) You have been abducted before. ( it’s more of a statement than a question, because he did speak of “his last return”, and lan wangji has to wonder what it entails. )

[ gather round wanging and hear the tales ( and many horrors ) of shiro’s space travels. actually, going off the whole cabin in the woods aesthetic, maybe they can have a campfire and roast some marshmallows while they’re at it. seems like the thing to do while telling spooky stories.

but back to the guqin. shiro nods and makes soft, barely there sounds of acknowledgement. likely to ask more ( polite ) questions, shiro doesn’t quite get the chance. instead, the topic abruptly changes and-- okay, that’s… okay. they’re going there, apparently. ( shiro’s fault, really. he might have been vague but it's not a stretch to put two an' two together. ) ] A few times, actually. [ kind of. the few hours by garrison personnel seems like nothing compared to the shitshow on kerberos. ]

video; @body.snatcher

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OKAY BACK TO VIDEO LMAO

ROFL I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE FKKK

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since you say i write too much LET'S SEE ME TRY TO DO SHORTER THINGS LOL