@luusi (nsfw language)

[grief]

OKAY so it has come to my attention that some of you lot haven't had elementary sex education, so I'm just a tiny bit curious about what all you do and don't know about getting a legover.

Tell me if any of this means anything to you:

Handjobs
Blowjobs
69ing
Eating Someone Out
Orgy
Pegging (am I expecting too much with this one?? Who knows.)
Rimming
Do you know what a vibe/dildo might be?????

This is especially for all you ye olden folk out there, since there seems to be a lot of that going on. But Especially Especially for all the ancient Chinese cosplay blokes out there. I refuse to believe my ancestors were so fucking vanilla LMAO like you HAVE to have different words for it or something PLEASE.

Comments

[channellings]

that's a big fat NO

[legbreakings]

Nobody asked you, Klaus!

[channellings]

good thing it's a public post then huh?
c'mon jc you really need to live a little

[legbreakings]

Public or not nobody asked for your opinion!

And if I "live" it certainly won't be with you!

[channellings]

see that's the lovely thing about publicness: nobody's gotta ask and i can open my big mouth whenever i want
it's pretty great honestly

you wound me jc ): fucking the tree before even thinking to offer to me? tsk tsk

[legbreakings]

I'm not doing anything indecent with the tree don't listen to grief!

I was just complaining about the tree being dangerous!

[channellings]

are you sure?? hmmmm

[purple is hella sus, but on to this tree being bad.] what's dangerous about it? splinters aside haha

[legbreakings]

It does something to your mind. Makes you dizzy and disoriented when you look at it.

Last month I got fainted when I visited the gas station.

[channellings]

shit really?? well that's no good... we don't need more shit fucking with our heads
especially weird trees that can't be explained or maybe cut down

you're okay now right?

Cuts in here-

[porndealer]

Jiang-xiong Jiang-xiong, Klaus is very fun! You should drink with us sometime.

Re: Cuts in here-

[legbreakings]

I won't! He's annoying!

And he takes off his clothes when he's scared!

[porndealer]

Are you sure he's not doing it cause it'll fluster you?

You know he's not so bad to look at.

[Just saying.]

[legbreakings]

How would you even know that?!

[porndealer]

Are you sure you want to know, Jiang-xiong?

[grief]

IDK how many virgins are running around here but this little shit is the king of them LOL

[channellings]

too goddamn many but considering his name was angry.virgin when i first met him? yeah haha

[grief]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME MATE

I NEED TO SET UP A CORONATION

[channellings]

i'm one-hundred-percent serious chica
can you believe that shit? even the network outed his ass

shouldn't you wait until he's not a virgin anymore??
wait no
you'd be waiting for-fucking-ever

[grief]

TBH he might be a little more deviant than we assumed.

I'm still quite sure he got the hots for some dark magic tree. Don't know if it counts for losing virginity or not.

[legbreakings]

I DO NOT

Stop spreading lies about me!

[grief]

Can you prove to me you don't want to put your dick in a tree?

[legbreakings]

How am I supposed to prove that! But I don’t want to that who even wants that!

[channellings]

wow hold the phone
he fucked a tree before giving me a chance?? talk about rude

gonna have to give him a piece of my mind for that one

[grief]

IDK I saw a documentary about people who want to fuck objects on channel 4 I think. Maybe he's just not into flesh and bone.

[channellings]

man i'm a weirdo who will try just about anything but tree fucking?? that's pretty out there




and let's not talk about the dick splinters